You entered into your relationship with the intention of loving and accepting one another and felt like your partner was your teammate and biggest fan. Over time, you may have found yourselves in some squabbles or misunderstandings, but what is happening now has either entered into what feels like unsustainable territory or could be soon. It has become emotionally painful and you’re not sure how to make it better.
In the midst of this turbulence, you may be considering whether couples therapy could be worth trying to see if your relationship can be renewed to greater connection and intimacy.
Whether your relationship is in a rocky place, or you simply feel that it could be stronger, I am here to help you.
Couples counseling has the potential to actually help you feel even closer than ever before, deepening your emotional connection and empathy for each other’s needs, feelings, and perspectives. And let’s not forget fostering the renaissance of positivity, humor, and gratitude that are hallmarks of a happy relationship.
Couples Therapy with Me May be Right For You, If:
You find yourselves bumping into the same argument or impasse and it’s becoming exhausting, frustrating, or saddening.
You struggle to feel understood by your partner, or you feel unheard, unimportant, or worried that you’ll never be enough for him/her/them.
You are arguing more intensely, or retreat further away, even entering into stalemates or blaming duels.
You look back on the earlier version of your relationship and wonder “how did we get here?”
You love your partner but may be wondering if you are meant to be together
You begin to question whether you are “compatible” and wonder if you can ever feel as close again after all the hurt feelings.
There has been a betrayal on one or both sides that has compromised trust and security, and you’re unsure how to go about repairing the emotional wound.
Your physical intimacy and sex life is feeling joyless. unfulfilling, or disconnected, and you’re worried about what this means and whether you will be able to reengage this aspect of your connection
Whether your relationship is in a rocky place, or you simply feel that it could be stronger, I am here to help you.
What We Will Do Together
Assess where your relationship is strong and where we can improve your skills to strengthen your connection, as well as explore your views about love and relationships.
Tease out the challenging threads of the frustrating cycle that is wreaking havoc in your relationship and guide you through the confusion towards a new experience of emotional safety with your significant other.
Revolutionize your communication skills to take you from hurting one another to hearing one another and responding instead of reacting.
Unlock your capacities to understand each other in nuanced ways, so that you can begin to again experience the part of your partner that genuinely cares about your needs and perspectives
Gain insight into how the ways you learned to cope with difficulties in getting your needs met in the past may be influencing your present relationship and how these past hurts may be influencing you now. Most importantly, our goal is to help you both build awareness and empathy for each other’s experience.
Facilitate repair around past emotional injuries that may be in need of healing, in order to move forward towards a newfound sense of closeness and affection.
Become genuinely honest about physical, sexual, and emotional needs that you may not have yet felt completely comfortable to share with your significant other.
Do We Really Need Therapy?
You might have had some version of the common concern: “If we are to the point of contemplating couples therapy, maybe this means our relationship isn’t likely to work out, maybe we are just incompatible, or maybe we are beyond repair... ( feel free to fill in the blank with your own personal worry). “ And to this, I want to share that in many cases, even couples with a history of betrayal and/or high conflict report a renaissance and deepening of meaning, connection, and passion in their dynamic through this work.
There are a lot of messages in our society that may lead us to wonder if we might be “failing” at our relationships when we need outside help. However, when most people embark into couples work, they are likely to discover a sense of renewed empowerment and agency that comes with being more conscious and proactive about addressing their relationship pain points directly.
It’s not uncommon for some people to be “on the fence” about couples therapy, which makes sense, because this is literally the most important relationship in your life that is at stake, and you don’t just let anybody into the private world of your hurts and longings. Plus, it takes real courage on your part to explore your relationship and feel into emotions and beliefs that may be at play in your dynamic.
